I once knew and cared about many people, and then watched them throw away their potentially grand futures for the seductions of fun and now. It disgusts me to see what their lives have become. What could've been a few years of hard work for a stable and fun filled future, now becomes a fight for day to day basics, a flurry of part time jobs and the culture that is lying, backstabbing, sleeping around, drinking, throwing up in the gutter, spending our bank accounts on food alcohol and lifestyles we can't afford, because this is fun and we can have it now.
It breaks my heart.
I knew you once. You actually had real dreams, real hopes, a future waiting to be written. And now you've thrown it away for this lie, this false happiness. You'll hit forty, wish you'd done something, gotten the education that was offered to you on a silver platter, and realise the hole you are trapped in is too big to climb out of on your own.
Last time we talked, you shrugged it off. "I have no regrets. I'm perfectly happy with the way I am. I'm happy with what my life has become. I'm happy this way."
Are you? Are you really?
Or do these lies make you sleep better at night?
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Bedtime
Now off to bed. To get up in three hours , or maybe four, and drive to Campbelltown to visit my favourite person in the whole wide world.
Right after I listen to Juneau once more.
No more writing late night angsty poetry.
Right after I listen to Juneau once more.
No more writing late night angsty poetry.
Everlong
I wonder, when I sing along with you
If everything could feel this real forever,
If anything could ever be this good again...
Things We Do
She laughed and said no way
This can't be happening
Too excited to contain the emotion
I smiled and was proud
I've always been proud of you
If only you had some idea
How proud you made me
How I beam when you're around
Sometimes I take your things
And I always intend to give them back
It just never happens though
It slips my mind
But then I see my things at yours
And realize we are the same
And I get angry and demand them back
I secretly don't mind
You whisper to me, don't make me go
You fret and worry and panic
I make you go because you'll do fine
You always do achieve
I didn't mean to cry when you read
The first time in front of us
I couldn't let you see me cry
And then I had to leave
Of Sharks, Egg Sandwiches and All In Between
Just sitting on the shelf, ever waiting
To be noticed, but what for? Nothing
Lies you feed yourself daily,
Lies that lie to you
Colours that sweep across the sky
And stretch across the plains before us
This moment should last a lifetime
I'll never wish it's end upon us
Beside me, you'll smile, you'll laugh, and I'll know
You are mine, momentarily forever
Sprint
I seem to be able to write
At three am in the morn
All my feelings are typed
And into words transform
It's me avoiding my bed
It's me avoiding some sleep
It's me avoiding some rest
Which I so badly need.
I wish I were in your arms
I wish you weren't just in my head
If I could compose the songs
I'd sing you my words instead[b]Sprint[/b]
I seem to be able to write
At three am in the morn
All my feelings are typed
And into words transform
It's me avoiding my bed
It's me avoiding some sleep
It's me avoiding some rest
Which I so badly need.
I wish I were in your arms
I wish you weren't just in my head
If I could compose the songs
I'd sing you my words instead
No Diamonds, Please
It's not that I don't love you
I can't explain it like I can with her
Or why I can at least put it in words.
You know you're my everything
I know that I'm yours
Its not about having proof in a ring?
Why can't I hold your hand if you're scared?
Why can't I fight away the monsters in your closet?
Let me protect you, like I promised.
If everything could feel this real forever,
If anything could ever be this good again...
Things We Do
She laughed and said no way
This can't be happening
Too excited to contain the emotion
I smiled and was proud
I've always been proud of you
If only you had some idea
How proud you made me
How I beam when you're around
Sometimes I take your things
And I always intend to give them back
It just never happens though
It slips my mind
But then I see my things at yours
And realize we are the same
And I get angry and demand them back
I secretly don't mind
You whisper to me, don't make me go
You fret and worry and panic
I make you go because you'll do fine
You always do achieve
I didn't mean to cry when you read
The first time in front of us
I couldn't let you see me cry
And then I had to leave
Of Sharks, Egg Sandwiches and All In Between
Just sitting on the shelf, ever waiting
To be noticed, but what for? Nothing
Lies you feed yourself daily,
Lies that lie to you
Colours that sweep across the sky
And stretch across the plains before us
This moment should last a lifetime
I'll never wish it's end upon us
Beside me, you'll smile, you'll laugh, and I'll know
You are mine, momentarily forever
Sprint
I seem to be able to write
At three am in the morn
All my feelings are typed
And into words transform
It's me avoiding my bed
It's me avoiding some sleep
It's me avoiding some rest
Which I so badly need.
I wish I were in your arms
I wish you weren't just in my head
If I could compose the songs
I'd sing you my words instead[b]Sprint[/b]
I seem to be able to write
At three am in the morn
All my feelings are typed
And into words transform
It's me avoiding my bed
It's me avoiding some sleep
It's me avoiding some rest
Which I so badly need.
I wish I were in your arms
I wish you weren't just in my head
If I could compose the songs
I'd sing you my words instead
No Diamonds, Please
It's not that I don't love you
I can't explain it like I can with her
Or why I can at least put it in words.
You know you're my everything
I know that I'm yours
Its not about having proof in a ring?
Why can't I hold your hand if you're scared?
Why can't I fight away the monsters in your closet?
Let me protect you, like I promised.
I feel like Christine
When I blog heaps in a short period of time about random thoughts.
Not that I don't enjoy your blogs. I really do. Ooft, they are the best reading material. I love the inner workings of your mind.
My favourite song for the last forever has been Funeral for a Friend - Juneau.
I cant decide which I love more. The original, or the acoustic.
Here are both links.
Original - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ewe1yH_v1OQ
Acoustic - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMvA9IFXCpQ
Tied to the testing of wills, and my heart breaks and spills
Left to the sight of the sky, in your arms I'm defined
Thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies
And I'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness
If this is what I'm meant for , no longer interesting
Fall forward just to even the score
Just a thought to you
And I'm nothing more than a line in your book
Slightly different lyrics in the acoustic version but you get the idea.
I will walk down the aisle to marry my husband to an instrumental arrangement of this song. I'm hoping that it will be on solo bass.
Not that I don't enjoy your blogs. I really do. Ooft, they are the best reading material. I love the inner workings of your mind.
My favourite song for the last forever has been Funeral for a Friend - Juneau.
I cant decide which I love more. The original, or the acoustic.
Here are both links.
Original - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ewe1yH_v1OQ
Acoustic - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMvA9IFXCpQ
Tied to the testing of wills, and my heart breaks and spills
Left to the sight of the sky, in your arms I'm defined
Thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies
And I'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness
If this is what I'm meant for , no longer interesting
Fall forward just to even the score
Just a thought to you
And I'm nothing more than a line in your book
Slightly different lyrics in the acoustic version but you get the idea.
I will walk down the aisle to marry my husband to an instrumental arrangement of this song. I'm hoping that it will be on solo bass.
The Authority (Strange Things) - BY X-treem
Bpunited wrote rap songs on our camp.
I present to you my group, consisting of RhysXtreem, KyXtreem, L-Xtreem, T-Xtreem and Mister Joshua Coshua Xtreem
---------------
The Authority (Strange Things)
X-Treem
[T-Xtreem]
I'm going to tell you a story,
About our brother JC.
He heals the sick
because he's God, you see.
[L-Xtreem]
Here come the Pharisees, here come the teachers
Step in and listen as JC preaches.
Here come the lame, oh what a shame.
Can't get in.
[RhysXtreem]
Couldn't move, couldn't breathe,
but they really didn't want to leave.
They had a friend who was lame.
Hoping Jesus'd make him walk again.
[Mister Joshua Coshua Xtreem]
"This guy thinks he's God,"
said the teachers of the law.
"Why you hating man? Why you hating, man?"
said Jesus as he thought about the things
that went on in their heads.
And Jesus said,
[KyXtreem]
"His sins are forgiven, I made him walk,
I've proved myself, but you still wanna talk?
I've shown that I have power to forgive,
this guy can walk, I made him live."
[T-Xtreem]
He picked up his mat and away he went,
his sins forgiven, no dollars spent.
God was glorified, the crowds did say,
"We have seen strange things today!"
Strange things, very strange things.
Oh so strange things, so strange things.
Hold up.
Luke 5, verse 24.
"But that you may know the Son of Man
has power on earth. That is the power on earth
to forgive, what?"
Sins!
Strange things, forgiveness
Strange things, salvation
Strange things, Gerald
Strange things, Amy
Strange things, Mackinley
Strange things, Ken
Strange things, Monica
----------
I am so proud of my group <3
I present to you my group, consisting of RhysXtreem, KyXtreem, L-Xtreem, T-Xtreem and Mister Joshua Coshua Xtreem
---------------
The Authority (Strange Things)
X-Treem
[T-Xtreem]
I'm going to tell you a story,
About our brother JC.
He heals the sick
because he's God, you see.
[L-Xtreem]
Here come the Pharisees, here come the teachers
Step in and listen as JC preaches.
Here come the lame, oh what a shame.
Can't get in.
[RhysXtreem]
Couldn't move, couldn't breathe,
but they really didn't want to leave.
They had a friend who was lame.
Hoping Jesus'd make him walk again.
[Mister Joshua Coshua Xtreem]
"This guy thinks he's God,"
said the teachers of the law.
"Why you hating man? Why you hating, man?"
said Jesus as he thought about the things
that went on in their heads.
And Jesus said,
[KyXtreem]
"His sins are forgiven, I made him walk,
I've proved myself, but you still wanna talk?
I've shown that I have power to forgive,
this guy can walk, I made him live."
[T-Xtreem]
He picked up his mat and away he went,
his sins forgiven, no dollars spent.
God was glorified, the crowds did say,
"We have seen strange things today!"
Strange things, very strange things.
Oh so strange things, so strange things.
Hold up.
Luke 5, verse 24.
"But that you may know the Son of Man
has power on earth. That is the power on earth
to forgive, what?"
Sins!
Strange things, forgiveness
Strange things, salvation
Strange things, Gerald
Strange things, Amy
Strange things, Mackinley
Strange things, Ken
Strange things, Monica
----------
I am so proud of my group <3
Friday, July 3, 2009
Living With Child Like Faith
Read a book on this very topic when I was 15. Keen, eager to serve and love God, and willing to believe anything books told me. Not too sure how much is actually biblical and how much is prosperity or other forms of false teaching, but it motivated me to be more of a child around God - which is a good thing I suppose.
These are notes I took on the book in year 10. Still blows my mind that I was reading and taking notes on books like these when I was in year 10. I am not as awesome now.
Living A Child Like Faith
Pray Like A Child
Jesus is your best friend. Talk to him like one.
Don't Rely On Words
Children don't know many words, but their actions are so honest that they don't need to.
Ask for Help
Childlike faith comes from admitting and asking God for help
Embrace Ordinariness
Childlike faith is for ordinary people
Don't stop Playing With God
Not very profound. But still helped me shape my attitudes around God. He stopped becoming this big old man in the sky, and became a very real friend to me in year 10. Sometimes I still forget to treat him like one.
These are notes I took on the book in year 10. Still blows my mind that I was reading and taking notes on books like these when I was in year 10. I am not as awesome now.
Living A Child Like Faith
Pray Like A Child
Jesus is your best friend. Talk to him like one.
Don't Rely On Words
Children don't know many words, but their actions are so honest that they don't need to.
Ask for Help
Childlike faith comes from admitting and asking God for help
Embrace Ordinariness
Childlike faith is for ordinary people
Don't stop Playing With God
Not very profound. But still helped me shape my attitudes around God. He stopped becoming this big old man in the sky, and became a very real friend to me in year 10. Sometimes I still forget to treat him like one.
LOL
I am awake at 5:50 AM (need to get ready for work soon) and I am reading my prayer diaries from year 10. So, there I am, 15 years old, writing letters to God in a way that only 15 year olds can do.
This one made me lol. For many reasons.
January 11, 2004
Lord, I'm sorry I didn't go to morning church. I felt sick, and now I feel guilty. Please bless me and Brett with the opportunity to go to Hillsong with Adam. Amen
I dont' know what's funnier:
a) that I felt bad for missing church because I felt sick
b) that I apologised for being sick
c) that I asked God to let me go to Hillsong
d) that both those boys are now gay. (Actually, not very funny, but humerous in the context of the prayer)
This one made me lol. For many reasons.
January 11, 2004
Lord, I'm sorry I didn't go to morning church. I felt sick, and now I feel guilty. Please bless me and Brett with the opportunity to go to Hillsong with Adam. Amen
I dont' know what's funnier:
a) that I felt bad for missing church because I felt sick
b) that I apologised for being sick
c) that I asked God to let me go to Hillsong
d) that both those boys are now gay. (Actually, not very funny, but humerous in the context of the prayer)
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